To have a long overdue rest and to ground our son's arrival in Oz-land, we booked a beachfront cabin...
... on the Central Coast of NSW, with little luxuries like a coffee machine, a BBQ on the patio, and a spa bath to relax in.
The four of us arrived in the holiday park at the usual 2 pm check-in time and we were given the keys to our cabin and instructions on how to enjoy our stay.
The view was beautiful and the closeness of the ocean felt moving and soothing at the same time.
But the cabin!!!!!
Looked good from afar, but my heart sank as we stepped onto the steps, then the patio, and then inside. It was a run-down building that felt unclean and somewhat unsafe (rickety stairs, loose nails on the deck etc).
I went to the reception with a bag of mouldy bread rolls from the kitchen cupboard, an oily-sticky chopping board, and a list of other dirty spots that made our temporary home more than uncomfortable.
The lady at the reception was wonderful, she apologised and started looking for upgrade options with no luck. After an inspection she came to do a quick cleaning to take care of the worst: the kitchen draws, utensils, the sink, the tap, and the BBQ.
She offered a complimentary bottle of champagne and we felt a little more settled, but not fully at peace.
The next couple of days were spent in a mixture of delight in nature and more minor annoyances around our accomodation.
We were discovering more and more dysfunctional and grimy objects and fixtures.
(Thankfully our beds were clean and comfortable enough.)
I was wondering about 'rights' as consumers and customers. I was exploring my feelings and thoughts around what we really needed and wanted and the gap between what was advertised, promised and therefore expected by us. I did not like this situation. At all.
We talked among ourselves. Our fears and old beliefs came up around people in authority, not wanting to 'rock the boat', not daring to complain in fear of retaliation, not wanting to sound like a bitch, not wanting to end up in a worse situation than we started in, not wanting to be demanding, not wanting to feel hated and rejected etc.
We doubted ourselves: is this really that bad? Should we just be grateful that we have such a nice spot and a beautiful view of the ocean?
But we were also angry and frustrated. Something was not right and the beauty of nature could not be credited to the holiday park and its management.
I felt like there was this obvious need for an 'upgrade' but it was eluding us.
Were we not communicating clear enough to reception? (In hind-sight maybe we could have asked to speak with the manager?)
Having grown up in a communist system, we are still a bit inexperienced in this realm, and are not very practiced in the area of having 'rights'...
And I knew, we've come far enough... and we can stand our ground and not lose who we are.
One of my main values is compassion, the unity of truth and love.
But I was pissed. I was frustrated and felt stuck in a 'wrong-right' battle in my mind.
I felt self righteous about the situation, and wanted fairness (which is also one of my values, although I'm questioning the details of its applications in real life)
I called the Department of Fair Trading and was reassured that we had a right to a clean and functioning cabin and were given instructions on how to lodge a claim for a partial or full refund.
But that is not how I like to live my life. I want to have honesty without defensiveness, I want mutual understanding, humility, listening, and dialogue until a win-win solution is found.
And I did not find it in me to lead with understanding, and I did not find in them openness for such interaction either.
Sigh...
We concluded that it was better to stay close to the ocean than to be right.
But the morning of our second last day, tradies rocked up and started working on the cabin next door to us.
I just wanted some peace and a working BBQ and the whole cabin issue instantly flared up. By then our feet got caught in loose nails on the deck a few times, so I went to reception again. The boys were out on a drive.
I was offered another cabin in the same category, and of course upon inspection I found it just as run-down and it also had tradies working next door, so I kindly declined.
Thankfully, the work was finished relatively quickly while Eszter and I just sat in the spa.
Such a mixture of experiences!
The beautiful blue-green and moving serenity of the ocean and the sea-side. The strength of the large rocks that revealed themselves in the low tides. The silkiness of the sand and the sounds of the crows and seagulls. The bush turkey and the bunnies running around.
And the frustration of belonging to mankind and having so much difficulty in finding common ground and creating pleasant experiences for each other.
Arghhhh...
We are back in our home-sweet-home now and am wondering what the next step might be on this path of ever-learning and deepening our truth, understanding, and love.
I don't want to just swallow this because I feel my responsibility for my own well being and development, and for the personal growth of those people (and even the business itself) at the holiday park. They need to be held accountable.
After considerable inner listening, holding a lot of emotions, memories, releasing tears and sadness to heal some trauma from the past, I feel that one more attempt in communicating with them directly might be where my heart is leading now. (Instead of jumping to the online Fair Trade complaint form which undoubtedly, feels less personal and easier to do...)
How would you proceed in a spirit of truth and love for the emotional and spiritual evolution of mankind?
As we are approaching the summer holiday season here, on the Southern Hemisphere, it will help you to search your heart and soul to gain clarity about your own values and to see life's challenges as developmental opportunities not just on a personal level, but for all involved.
Please share if you have a story or insight.
Peace and Love,
Ildikó xo