The Language of Love: Conversations with the Heart

Have you ever wondered what love truly is?

 Remember that catchy tune, "What is Love? Baby, don't hurt me, don't hurt me, no more." Yes, that's the one!

Is it even possible to never hurt the ones we love? I hope so... but I needed and still need so much forgiveness from the ones closest... 

In my journey through life, I've come across various definitions of love. 

Some say it's not a feeling but an act of the will. 

I believe that love is both a feeling and a feeling-inspired action. I mean, wouldn't you want the people who love you to feel something genuine for you, rather than just putting on a show?

Sure, there are times when we might not feel particularly loving. It's okay; life has its ups and downs. But here's the interesting part: even when we're not feeling love, it's still there... and want to be felt.

So, when we don't feel loving, it's time to sit with whatever we are feeling and listen.

Listen deeply.

Situationally, it is okay to not feel loving and still act 'loving': to not kick somebody even if we had lots of kicks in us for them. But this should be very temporary, until we can express and liberate the frustrated emotions as soon as possible, and return to our natural state of lovingness... a felt sense of love and connection.

Unfortunately, emotional intelligence is not something we are taught or modelled.

Often we think we are 'loving' because we don't go around kicking and punching people, but all the kicks and punches are seething and stewing inside, like a volcano ready to erupt, or suppressed so deep that the frustrated energies make the body sick.

It's important to remember that we have the most frustration for those we love most, because they matter the most. 

The people we care about the most can trigger the most intense emotions. 

Daaaa... I'm sure you've noticed... this does not mean you don't love them or that you are a bad person.

And why do we all yearn for love? Well, once, on a serene night by a lake called Bent's Basin, I felt a profound truth resonate within me. The beauty around me whispered something simple yet profound: "LOVE LOVES." Pause for a moment. Let those words sink in. Love loves. It can't help but love—it's what it does as that is its essence and its function.

In a world of opposites, we often think in terms of good and bad, hate and love. 

But there's more to it. True love has no opposite. True love is 'existence' itself. 

Everything, and I mean everything, is held within the embrace of love. Our conditioning, defenses, openness, and even moments of closed-off-ness—all of it is love in different forms.

So, my friend, relax. Whatever you're feeling, it's a form of love. There's no need to fear fear itself or any other complex emotions. These feelings were shaped by life to protect the vulnerable hearts we are. They're a vital and when deeply known, a helpful, part of the human experience.

Remember, every feeling is a movement of life energy. 

They have names, and they're meant to be acknowledged. If it's safe and appropriate, let your body express them. If not, reassure them that you'll give them your time and attention later.

When the time is right, sit down and invite the feeling for a chat. Ask it who it is, what its name is. Tune into your body's responses and wait. Then, ask who it was before it took on the label of guilt, blame, shame, rage, or anything else. Listen closely—sometimes it speaks in words, sometimes in images, and sometimes in sensations.

As you do this, you'll find that you're cultivating a gentle relationship with your emotions. You're creating a space of compassion and understanding within yourself. And with time, you'll notice something beautiful happening. You're becoming a vessel of love—a spring through which love flows naturally.

Love will find its expression through you, 

in the way you live and the way you touch the lives of those around you. And it will feel good. 

As you embark on this journey of self-discovery and connection, always remember: Love loves. It's always there, because it exists...  and you were born for such a time as this... 

With warmth and affection,

xoxo Ildikó <3