When Spirituality Harms: 5 Steps to Family Healing and Reconciliation

1. Notice and Realize: From Self-Righteousness to Self-Awareness

As a dedicated and perfectionist Spiritual Warrior Earth Family Leader, my path has been one of deep learning and transformation. It began with the crucial step of noticing and realizing how my ego-centered spirituality, once a misguided shield and mask, impacted my loved ones. Retreating into prayer, I often left my children feeling unheard and unseen, covering my actions in a belief that no one could argue with a divine calling.

2. The Wake-Up Call: Acknowledging the Impact

This approach, rooted in emotional trauma, had its consequences. My children felt my absence, and it led to an excruciating process of awakening. I understood that my spiritual discipline was, in some ways, an escape from the chaotic misunderstandings of parenting and personal needs.

3. Healing and Understanding: The Transformation

This realization began a huge shift in my life. The letting go, the change, the transformation was messy and chaotic (as always is) but it was so worth it!!!

I learned that true spirituality isn't about separating one's self (being holiy) like a 'victim' of higher forces or justifying one's actions under the guise of divine intervention. It's about understanding our humanity, and  the dynamics and hidden energetic interactions of relationships, and being present for those who rely on us.

4. Authentic Apologies and Deep Listening

The path to reconciliation involves an authentic, but not 'collapsed', apology, and deep listening. It's about holding space for our own inner world (honouring our own triggers and offering self forgiveness) and the experiences of others, especially our children. This step was about letting go of defensiveness and waiting for the right moment to share my side – conveying regret and acknowledging the unintentional hurt caused.

5. A New Path of Enlightenment: Balancing and Sharing

Today, my spiritual journey is more grounded... it's less 'disconnected' from earth life. I find depth and wow in daily life - the laughter of my children, shared meals, and even in mundane tasks. This new path is about finding spirituality in the realities of being a parent and a human being, and sharing these learnings with others. 

My favourite mediations and prayers are nature walks and cooking. 😉 And I have so much more joy and peace...  

Embracing Our Humanity and Inviting Your Stories

I share this journey not for sympathy, but as an invitation for you to reflect on your own experiences. How have your spiritual practices intertwined with, and at times, clashed with your family life? I encourage you to share your stories, as we navigate this path together.

As we continue on this path, let’s remember to embrace our humanity as our spirituality. It's a journey of learning from the past, being present in the now, and growing towards a future with an open heart and mind.

A Deep Bow,

Ildiko <3